Things never feel as sweet to receive when we have pushed beyond what felt right just to get it. There is something in us that has recognised the resistance, but our minds tell us that we have either spent too much time on this already to just ‘give up’, or that we deserve to have exactly what we want and how we want it. Of course disregarding that there could be better or, that by this stage, this something doesn’t really make us feel how we want to anyway.
Maybe you’ve recognised this in your relationships. Or in that job you wanted that could have ended up being more about status than the fulfilment you receive in doing the work. If we look closely enough, it’s there sitting in those moments where we have relied on force and stubbornness in lieu of checking in, trusting and following through on those light feelings instead. It’s a hard pill to swallow. It’s a regular one I myself must take too, but that is the beauty of being human. We get to find and experience the balance of these things as we find our ways through this life that we’re creating. Our lives are an artboard for us to choose what gets featured. There are always some areas you’ll want to try to cover up or that don’t quite fit into the aesthetic you desire. Our lives are art and in that sense they’re already beautiful and perfect as they are. It’s still in our power of creation when we listen to those internal urges to relax, release and take a step or two back from the forcing of something. That step is still creation, as we open up to allow what it is we are blocking. We just might have to go through a shit load of fear first.
The fear exists because our minds do not know what will happen in doing so. It makes up all the scenarios in how that step back could go wrong, it repeats to us over and over again that what we want won’t come in that way, it tells us that what we have in mind is the best case scenario or, hell, that it’s the only scenario and if we relax our grip on it that we are letting that ‘best’ slip away, leaving us with nothing or, at best, something totally mediocre. Our minds cannot possibly know what it hasn’t already learnt. This means that until it experiences the better, then it cannot know that it’s possible.
Why would you settle for something that feels something like wading through thick, goopy, muddy quicksand if you know the illusion of ‘nothing better’ is just something your mind has made up because it’s fearful. When you get to know this and truly identify it, it becomes easier to approach fear on purpose, without as much reaction. I say ‘as much’ because the truth is, fear will never cease to exist. It serves us to keep us safe in some very specific scenarios where safety is necessary. And also because you can never truly get rid of something that you are actively thinking about, even in the overcoming stage. But what happens is the more you practice, the easier it gets. It gets easier to recognise fear for what it is, something that’s just trying to keep you safe. How noble is that? It gets easier to then take those little or big steps in the direction of what feels right versus what feels safe. Are we ever truly safe anyway? Safety itself is an illusion, there are just different levels of truth to the likelihood of harm coming our way. And truly, we know nothing. We just feel our way through, and that is best.
