During September, I did a 30 day challenge on Instagram. “Yoga Every Damn Day”, with thanks to Yoga Girl, spoke to me because of the emphasis on the ‘off the mat’ yoga, not just forcing your body into positions every day that maybe, just maybe, it might not want to do on any of those given days. I truthfully hadn’t bothered doing any other kind of challenge like this in the past simply because I couldn’t commit to literally stepping onto my mat every day like that, as well as setting up the camera and all that. You see… So much of my yoga is practiced off the mat. Mindfulness, awareness, willingness to learn and open my eyes to what the world is trying to show me are usually the keystones of this practice of mine. Yes, I love the physical practice and what it does for me, my mindset, my approach to how I see myself (more and more capable the more I practice, but that’s a whole other blog post). I just see more in what I get out of my life when I practice these things across the board.
The beginning of September started off a little uncertain for me. The previous couple of months had made me feel unsure about what was going to get ‘thrown’ my way, caused me to majorly strengthen my resolve and patience, a practice in ‘not knowing’ being the dominant feature after so definitively deciding within myself what it is I knew about the direction I wanted, and so on. Based on this, I can understand why I felt unsure as we approached September. When every month of the year had been so distinct in theme and lessons, I wasn’t sure I had much more in me to handle the “oh, but wait”. Of course, I can say that more clearly now we’re a full week into the safety of October and everything is feeling much more like we’re quickly heading towards the end of the tunnel, where the light is ready to finally shine on and reveal what it is we couldn’t see before.
Documenting the little things and themes of each day throughout September was an active reminder to practice what I preach, practice what it is I do know inherently, practice being ok in not knowing (which is a lot of things) and allow space for whatever it is that is coming up within me. I liken it to providing myself my own form of therapy (from within). As the month went on, I realised that I was living more in me, rather than what’s outside of me. But I didn’t shut myself down when those outside factors affected me either. I allowed those reactions of mine to be acknowledged and cared for just as much as what I deemed ‘good’ within me. I began more actively seeking more of the things I value; conversations, connections, learnings, space, acceptance. At the same time, instead of pushing anything away, I was simply paying less attention and giving less energy to those things I don’t value; shallowness, speculation, unfulfilling actions, anything draining me.
I made conscious choices to stop doing the things that made me feel worse in each moment, and instead continually, as best I could while allowing for the faltering, chose what it is would support me in feeling better. Whatever that was, as small as each choice may be. Even in the tiniest, most seemingly-unrelated step. In these small changes, I realise now that those small things made the biggest difference to me. By being kinder to myself, I was stronger and able to be more kind to others. I held more of my own value and have had better interactions with others simply from this place of being responsible for my own self, and not for them.
It was this bringing awareness to each day, rather than letting it fly by you without thought. This awareness, while it can be challenging at times, is also what allows for more richness. For more okay-ness. For more integrity of self. And for more honouring of what that is to you.
And this was simply by posting on Instagram every day for 30 days…
