PSA: If I see anyone going for their dreams – I mean taking even the most minute of brave steps towards what they want – and they’re going towards them in a healthy, loving way (towards themselves and others), then yes. I will absolutely cheer them on.
Sometimes this is a strange concept to people. And after considering why this may be, I’ve come to the realisation that they simply don’t see it as clearly. Automatically, we’re all programmed to approach anyone taking these big-little-giant-small leaps with caution and concern. So when people are greeted with someone else’s enthusiasm for them to succeed, they get suspicious. I’m not afraid to say how sad this makes me feel.
Let me live in my sometimes-idealistic but very real reality though. A reality that believes that people backing people is one of the most beautiful things to witness and experience and that maybe, just maybe, it helps to quite literally make the world a better place.
I’ve long tried to understand why people act towards each other the way they do. With a complete lack of any kind of (academic) sociological expertise except through my own experiences and emotions in being a human being, I discovered another chronic issue that is just as prevalent, and without a doubt am convinced that the two have at least something to do with the manifestation of each other.
Really, really supporting yourself. Please, this goes beyond simply paying your own rent and feeding yourself. I mean supporting your own ideas, goals, dreams. Doing whatever it takes to believe in yourself and putting yourself as a priority so you can deal with your shit and live the best life you can, in all its ups and downs.
But it makes sense when it comes down to it. If you’re not fulfilled by your own things and are feeling depleted, it can sometimes feel impossible to sit there and cheer on someone else when your own self is sitting there, knowing it’s missing out. Alternatively, you can be so focused on cheering others on that you forget to consider yourself. And for the sake of my point here, I’m going to argue that the crux of most issues will always come down to how much you are filling up your cup first. (If you’re still not quite getting it, consider the safety instructions on planes to always put your own oxygen mask on first, else be rendered useless to help others at all).
The other sometimes-glaring issue with backing yourself is, sometimes people just won’t support you. They may not mean to, they may be depleted themselves, but inevitably you’ll come across people close to you who, maybe even just for the time being, simply cannot have your back. Which makes it even more important to have your own. I’d really like to avoid the whole issue of trust or fear when discussing this, because I’m really talking about something inherently deeper. It’s like examining the cause over the symptom (and avoiding the ‘why’ in the reason to examine at all).
I’m really just talking about caring for yourself.
And too often we forget that we ourselves are important. Our own dreams, ideas, what we want for our lives, but also through the failures and stumbles – anything and everything in between. We want to have foundations in supporting and believing in ourselves (really and truly) that are so strong that in the end, it doesn’t really matter how much others play that role for us. (Having said that, please choose to allow people in your life who have your best interests at heart).
Self-love is such a commonly-used concept so sometimes we need to find different ways to explain it just to try and relate it to those of us who can’t seem to grasp it just yet. But my point here is very simplistic in its nature. You can’t give to anyone until you give to yourself. And if you’re not already supporting anyone, maybe supporting yourself will open that up in you.
